How to Choose the Right Person to Marry

Choosing a life partner is a big decision and not one to take lightly. When choosing a man to marry, ask yourself lots of questions, and evaluate what you want. Know your own role and responsibilities in creating a happy relationship and recognize that it’s up to you to create the relationship you want. Feel comfortable in who you are and make efforts to share each other’s families. Talk about your differences and any potential problems that may arise if you do become married.

    Don’t make choices out of fear:

    So many times people either choose a partner or stay with someone in an unhappy relationship predominantly out of some kind of fear. Usually, that fear is being alone but fears can vary widely from person to person. It’s often better to be alone and wait for the right person than to make a decision out of fear. Making decisions out of fear leads to confusion, anxiety, and a general feeling of something being amiss.

    Be careful of jumping into a committed relationship right off the bat:

    It can be tempting to jump into a committed relationship quickly when you find someone you have a fiery connection with. However, you don’t really know that person yet and you’re getting emotionally invested in someone that you don’t know much about. As time progresses, you may find out things that you really don’t like or that you’re truly not compatible with this person. Because you invested so much emotional energy quickly, this can hurt a lot more than it would have if you had taken time to get to know the person before putting your whole heart into the relationship. It’s important to remain grounded and patient when deciding to be seriously committed to someone.

    Give people a chance that you normally wouldn’t give a chance to:

    If I had a dime for every time someone told me they weren’t going to go out with someone because they weren’t their “type,” I’d be a rich woman! Remember attraction can grow the more you get to know a person and their personality. Some people also take a lot of time to get to know and don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves. Still, waters run deep and you may not get a chance to find that out if you don’t take the time to get to know someone.

    Throw out your checklist:

    Many people have extensive lists of what qualities and traits their ideal partner has to have. If you box yourself into a checklist you may miss out on some great matches for you. It’s almost impossible to find a perfect checklist partner, and when we think we have found it we throw all caution to the wind and disregard some not so desirable qualities. A great relationship has emotional compatibility. How does the person make you feel as opposed to what does this person look like on paper?

    Look for qualities that are the foundation of a good partnership, throw the tiny details out:

    The qualities of a person that help to build the foundation of a good partnership are Empathy, integrity, honesty, reliability, kindness, and emotional generosity. If you find these qualities in someone, be curious about pursuing it further, even if they may not seem like your type on the surface. Other criteria, like “sense of humor,” “world traveler,” and “good dancer” are nice-to-haves but don’t necessarily have to be there for you to be happy in your relationship.

    Have fun:

    The less pressure you put on yourself, the happier you are with yourself, and the more at ease you are will create a space to attract the right kind of people to you. Sometimes it takes seeing a lot of what you don’t want to figure out what you do want. Enjoy yourself!

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