How to Balance Marriage and Children

Maintaining a good balance between your marriage and parenting can be a real challenge. Giving too much attention to one over the other can cause problems in both areas. To keep your relationships with both your children and your spouse strong, you’ll need to carefully manage your time and work to meet everyone’s needs, including your own.

    Be a team:

    You got married because you love each other. Maybe you have some differences in parenting styles, but know that you both have the same goal—to raise well-adjusted, happy children in a loving home.

    Understand how to make your spouse happy, try improving the relationship with spouse share the load as you raise your children, so no one feels like they are doing it alone.

    Look for the good and overlook the bad:

    When you are tired and stressed, it’s easy to focus on the negative. Train yourself to look for the good qualities in your spouse.

    Give two compliments every day:

    Life often gets so crazy that you might think something like, “She sure looks pretty in that outfit,” or “I really appreciate the ways he engages our children,” without actually saying it. Think about how you feel when you receive a compliment. They aren’t hard to give and they don’t cost a dime.

    Connect with each family member:

    For at least 20 minutes per day. Make sure to spend quality alone time with your spouse and with each child. This time will help each person forge lasting relationships that will keep things balanced in your home.

    The habits that you practice every day make a strong impression on your kids. Spending quality family time would help your kids to learn the act of balancing things in life and obviously brings you closer to them.

    Don’t fight in front of the kids:

    It’s really hard not to disagree on parenting decisions when you’re in the moment with your kids right there, but you need to make it a priority. Maybe your 9-year-old son is very impulsive; it drives dad crazy and he wants to yell and punish him by taking away a privilege, but mom is more patient and thinks a less strict punishment is in order. Instead of talking it out in front of your son, excuse yourselves for a few minutes. Talk it out away from your son. Come to an agreement and then discuss it with your son. This will help you work out your differences and also be a more consistent parenting team for your son.

    Teach your children independence:

    Not only will it help Billy gain confidence as he starts making his own breakfast, cleaning his own room, and even playing on his own, it’ll reduce stress on the parents and give mom and dad more time with each other.

    It might seem scary at first but gradually increasing the amount of freedom or independence for your kids only helps them learn the necessary skills required for surviving alone or with others.

    Pick your battles:

    It is easy to fall into the trap of fighting over silly things that truly will not matter 24 hours from now. Before you gear up for battle, ask yourself if this is really a big deal. In many instances, the answer is no.

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